Tears gathered in the corners of Joel’s eyes yesterday morning as we sat together in visit and I shared with him an update on his release status. Joel has taken a very intense addictions course in order to qualify for a year off his sentence, so we were both severely disappointed when we found out that because of particular state regulations in FL he was not actually going to receive that year off. Last fall when Joel relayed this information to me, my sense of loss and utter helplessness was rekindled. But as we prayed about this, we felt that God would have Joel apply for relocation to Wisconsin, where state regulations are less stringent than Florida. He is able to do this because he has an aunt and uncle who live in the area. The implications of a move for our family are obvious, and we hesitated to take this step, but when we considered how important it is for Joel to be back in our home, we felt confident that we should at least make this effort. Joel applied for a transfer to Wisconsin the end of May and was told that he should here back in a couple weeks. As is often the case with government red tape, a couple weeks as turned into a couple months. But on Friday, although the word is not official, we did hear from the PO in Wisconsin assigned to Joel’s case and it is looking pretty positive that he will receive a transfer. If everything continues on the course it is on now, once paperwork is completed, Joel would be released to halfway house in Wisconsin next summer, and from there to home in December, a full year early. Our whole family enjoyed discussing the many options and exciting changes. Joel’s homecoming seems so much closer suddenly!
As I look back over the layers of waiting we have experienced, I see God’s hand in preparing me for this recent change. Even though I often baulk at waiting, I am beginning to accept the important role it often plays in my own personal growth. And I have even begun to count the waiting a blessing.
Of course this move is a mixed blessing, and I vacillate between the excitement of having Joel home, and the pain of leaving behind our friends and family and support base in Florida. Much about our future is suddenly unknown and that scares me! As I was praying about these wildly swinging emotions last night, I said to God,” It just doesn’t seem right for my sisters, and for Roman and his best friend Keelan. (who also happens to be his cousin)” God’s gentle reply was, “If it is right for you, then it is right for your children, your sisters, your friends. I do all things well. Do you think you know better than me?” Oh, thanks be to God, that He knows so much better than I, for each one of us. So even as I consider the physical and emotional upheaval of the next year, I find again, that God is giving me the gift of the wait–the gift of time–to allow Him to work out every detail of this change.
joyinthemourning 