Ever since I shared yesterday some of issues related to ADD and it’s affects on our family, I have been thinking of the spiritual parallels in my own life. I am amazed at what God teaches me about Himself, and His plans for me, through my interaction with my children.
Often my relationship with God is marked by many of the same affects as ADD has on Marshall. I read God’s Word voraciously, and pursue Him with genuine passion. Then suddenly my focus is diverted by some lesser aspiration. I don’t even know how it happens, but instead of finding my joy in Christ, I am clamoring for satisfaction in other things. Rather than resting and listening, I am restless, and preoccupied. My anxious thoughts rattle around in my brain like so many pin balls, being shot at whim by outside forces. Just as I see Marshall waste time, because of his complete lack of any concept of time, I find myself wasting valuable opportunities, because of my complete lack of any concept of Christ’s value system.
Yesterday was a busy day for me. But not so busy that I felt frazzled. It was fruitful, and I actually felt rather accomplished, although I was running just five minutes behind as I ran out of the house around four to go pick up the kids from my sister’s house. A flat tire quickly diverted my attention from God, and landed me in the wasteland of self-absorption. A phrase from an old hymn comes to mind, “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love.” That’s me! A flat tire was all it took! Or maybe the flat tire was just the physical factor, that opened my eyes to my wandering ways. Perhaps, I had been pursuing lesser aspirations without even knowing it. Often Marshall thinks he is doing what he’s supposed to, when he’s not. Many times, his focus is elsewhere and he doesn’t even know it. Is that me? Is my focus on feeling accomplished, on not getting behind in my schedule, on staying organized and on time? Maybe the wandering happened hours before the flat tire. Maybe the flat tire was God’s “goodness like a fetter” binding my wondering heart to Himself-His kind, yet forceful way of waking me up from my own wasteland wandering.
“Come thou Fount of Every Blessing” offers a truly Biblical answer to my own Spiritual ADD: “Oh, to grace how great a debtor, daily I’m constrained to be.” God’s grace is the only antidote for my wandering tendencies, His holistic participation in every area of my life, my only cure.
joyinthemourning 